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And then there is Turkish oil wrestling. As gay men, often estranged by the vulnerability and competitiveness of the locker room, we eroticize strength and male-touch. There are many types of matches. Some practice Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, which emphasizes ground fighting, submission holds and joint-locks. Other guys go for no-holds-barred matches where punching, scratching and other painful, injurious moves are allowed. Non-sexual touch is scary to a lot of men. But my fantasy was far off from the reality, and I ended up learning a lot more about myself than I ever thought I would.

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As gay men, often estranged by the vulnerability and competitiveness of the locker room, we eroticize strength and male-touch.

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But then we looked at the evidence. But my fantasy was far off from the reality, and I ended up learning a lot more about myself than I ever thought I would. This article was originally published on Sept.

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It helps to meet with actual trans people and involve them in shaping the group.

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